Common Relationship Story with a Simple Fix
The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie. Let’s explore the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we are told by others. Feeling like you are not enough is a battle we all fight every day. The last thing that you need is someone to tell you that you are not enough in the things that they do and say.
Common Story: Girl meets guy and there is an instant connection. Things are going well. You have fallen in love with this man and he is doing all the right things. He takes you on dates, spends time with you, gives you gifts and above all SAYS the right things to make you feel loved and appreciated. Fast forward roughly 6 months, things are still going well but the facade is cracking subtle things he does spell red flag, but what he says stays the same. And you believe what he says. Only thing is “I love you “becomes conditional. “I want you” is never heard but “I need you” becomes the words you hear the most. “I need you” stays the same but his actions don’t reflect it. He ignores you, takes without giving back. He doesn’t appreciate the things you do for him but expects it. Then when they are not given freely, guilts you into doing them for free. You, being the fantastic person that you are kick your effort into overdrive. Why wouldn’t you? He did say (in so many words) “you are not doing enough”. Taking what he said to heart, you begin to do things you never thought that you would do. You start taking the blame for problems he created. You cancel plans with friends because he has a problem with your friends. You start paying his bills because he has money problems. He has a Problem finding a job, so you will work more. He has a problem with transportation. You will have to drive him. The list is endless, but you get the point. He knows you better than you do. He knows! You see a need; you fill a need. That is who you are. You do these things with no complaint and your only expectation in return is that (someday) all the time and money spent on him will be returned to you. But someday is just another word for never. How did I get here?
Fast forward to a year (Maybe less) you look in the mirror and don’t recognize yourself or your surroundings. You wonder how you got to this place. Let’s recap. You have given everything to this man. You are depleted financially, emotionally and above all physically. You doubled your efforts and got more problems. No one in their right mind would ask any more of you, but all you continue to hear is how much he needs you. So, you continue to let him take what little you have left. Sound Familiar? The ending has two paths. The first, is that you are still with this man. You have not changed your course and will continue to get the same results. Possibly for the rest of your life. The second is that this man has left you and the relationship. He is physically gone but his problems remain. The problem that you are still expected to solve. He left you with the feeling that you are not enough, and you will never be enough. To top it off, he will tell anyone that will listen how poorly you treated him for your entire relationship. None of it will be true but people will believe it. People will believe anything but the truth.
The truth is, you are more than enough and were too good for him. He could never let you figure that out, so he manipulated you into believing you would never be good enough for anyone. The truth amongst all truth is cutting someone down and manipulating them to stay in your life is a weak and hollow person. In summary, you met a man wearing a mask. The mask is a mirror. The mirror reflects… what you want to see. As time goes on and the mirror begins to crack you glue this manipulated mirror back together because you are more afraid of seeing what’s underneath. I will repeat what your friends and family have told you, that you have been unable to hear. Underneath the mask of the person, you love so completely and unconditionally is not a man but an abyss. A void, with nothing but the remnants of your love, time and energy. Forgotten and neglected amidst the vast emptiness of their soul. If it is any comfort, to hate another person is like drinking poison and expecting them to die (Buddha). Do not hate this person that wronged you, instead pity them. They missed the chance to have you in their life. A mistake you will never allow them to correct. In conclusion, you are not alone. If this story has happened to you more than once. It means You need to change… You need to change.. so you can change this story. To change is to forget your old self and look through the eyes of the women that has the man you could only dream of. She does not allow men to dictate her value and in return they value her even more. She knows how to bend men to her needs. She does it time and time again and men line up for the small chance that she will commit to them. She is irresistible to men and men work to win her affection. She has full control and makes it look easy. Her secret… she knows more about men, than men know about themselves. She uses her knowledge to gain power over her life. Just like you can. Click this link to learn more.